A Visit From Aunt Felicia...

Ok - I know it's close to Halloween, but that's got nothing to do with it, I think. I think she was just ready.

Last night, I was here at my desk working. I have a sort of "altar to my ancestors" at my desk. It's just black and white photo prints of most of my family, a lot of them deceased now.

Aunt Felicia is there at the lower left. I see all of them every night, it helps keep them close in my heart. Mom is there, my dad's father and mother, my mom's adoptive parents, and their parents. My paternal grandmother with her sister.

For some reason, Aunt Felicia's pic was really standing out at me last night. I had the strongest feeling that she was watching over us, especially Tiffiny & I.

The next morning, Tiff texted me that she had a dream about her Mom, that they were together and her Mom was young and beautiful with bright eyes and shining hair, and they were laughing together. Tiff said she felt like her Mom was happy and at peace. (That is the way I knew Aunt felicia - when she was young like in the picture)

Now, THAT is a good dream - and a very happy coincidence - if you don't think there's anything after. Personally, I'm sure Aunt Felicia is watching over us and happy, and let us know it.

Dan

Crantz In The Pants...

I remember back when we lived at Nono's house in Beloit, (1740 Yates Avenue) in the Summer of 1976. Aunt Felicia and Gramma Enid were staying with us. We would move to Madison that Autumn, and both of them with us, but not quite yet.

I was reading down in the basement, and the back door burst open with Aunt Felicia and my sister Lori helping a young man down the stairs who apparently was having trouble walking. It was one Tommy Crantz, still a family friend actually.

When I asked what happened, Tommy yelled out that "Your Aunt kicked me in the balls!!" I was all like, "What?? Why'd she do that?" Aunt Felicia advised that Tommy needed to learn how to keep his hands to himself, or in other words, he got too fresh with her.

After about 10 minutes, Tommy was starting to walk around again on his own. Aunt Felicia said "Well, at least you can still walk." and giggled a bit. Tommy turned around and said in all earnestness "Yeah, but can I still F#$% ???"

Lori and Aunt Felicia and I were rolling on the floor laughing our heads off. "Wasn't that what got you in trouble in the first place, Tommy?" I asked once I could stop laughing.

Moral of the story: DON'T MESS WITH AUNT FELICIA.

I still get a chuckle out of that memory when I think of it.

Dan

Aunt Felicia - 1979 Or 1980 I Believe

We miss you, Aunt Felicia!

You Will Always Be Missed!

Aunt Felicia, I don't know if you're reading this over my shoulder, or Azure is singing it to you somewhere through the rainbow or above the clouds.

I sent Taboo to keep you company. She's sweet but also mischeivous, I think you'll like her.

I will do my best to share everything I can think of with Tiff.

We love you, and are grateful for the time you were with us. We all hope that the karma account is closed.

Rest, and we'll see you someday on the other side.

Dan

Be at Peace, Mom 4-4-13

My mom passed away today at 11:55 am. I wasn't able to make it in time to be with her. That wasn't God's plan, I guess. The hospice chaplain was praying with her when she passed. He told me it was the most peaceful passing he's seen in his 8 years of work...

Tiff

Happy Birthday, Mom

I called my mom for her birthday yesterday, as I do every year. Our usual routine is for her to listen to me, answer a couple yes or no questions for 30 seconds, then hang up on me. It's weird. And it hurts every time she doesn't engage in a conversation with me, but it is what it is. I've become accustomed to it.  At the least, I get to hear her voice. :) 

She has always answered the phone, not this time though. She wasn't feeling well, she told the nurse to tell me to call her later. Even though she hasn't had a real conversation with me since I was 8, I have still looked forward to hearing her voice.

Next year, I won't be calling her on the phone (secretly wishing that she wanted to talk to me the way she did when I was little)...I remember it clearly...she said...

 "I love you so much, and I miss you. I'm so sorry that I can't be with you. Be a good girl and always do your best." 

That was the last time she really talked to me. I cried. My grandpa thought she said something crazy, but I was just happy that she cared about me. 

I've spent my ENTIRE life missing her and feeling sad for her, for me, for our family. It's like a black hole. There is no escaping it, no changing it, be careful not to spend too much time thinking, for fear of getting sucked into the pain of it all. It has been a hard journey. But it’s OUR journey. And there is a good reason we are on this road.

Next year, on March 19th...I won't be calling my mom. I won't hear her voice. But her soul will be free. What a blessing that will be.

Maybe next year, a pretty purple butterfly might just land on my shoulder. :)

Happy Birthday, Mom. I love you.